The Secret of Life
Colby and Madison Howell were born on April 18, 2002 to first-time parents, Karla and Dave. Karla enjoyed a normal pregnancy with no indications that something might be wrong. Colby's birth weight was 4 pounds and 13 ounces, only a pound and two ounces less than his twin sister, Madison. But there was another difference that would be much more serious.
For reasons still unknown to the Howells, Colby's blood sugar dropped dangerously low. It took four weeks to stabilize, and as a result of the hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), Colby spent several weeks in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU).
Madison was discharged while Colby remained in the hospital. Karla and Dave just wanted to bring their son home to be with his twin, but they would have to wait. An MRI done while Colby was still in the NICU revealed a brain injury. They began to worry, and to face an uncertain future for Colby. What would the damage to his brain mean for him? For the entire family? Only time would tell.
Finally, after four weeks, the Howells brought Colby home. They watched as Madison began to develop. She held her head up. She rolled over. She crawled and then sat up. They knew that Colby was not following a normal developmental pattern when he didn't follow suit.
The diagnoses for Colby didn't come all at once, but over the course of several months. By the end of the first year, Karla had an assortment of labels for her boy including cerebral palsy, cortical visual impairment and seizure disorder. They are still unsure at this stage whether or not he has a cognitive delay.
If having twins is challenging, having one with special needs ups the ante even more. Karla does her best to cope.
Colby receives therapy seven days a week, and Karla's parents, who live only five minutes away, take him once a week. Dave's mother is a pediatric physical therapist that does his PT. Karla says that her family and friends are her lifeline and help her maintain her ability to laugh. She also credits her faith in Jesus Christ for giving her strength.
"I have learned how strong I can be, and at the same time how vulnerable and afraid," Karla says. "Colby has taught me a better way to approach life. I try to make others and myself around me better. I have suffered a great deal because of Colby's disabilities, but after the pain and the shock and the devastation there is a unique strength. I have learned to appreciate and value life in ways that I did not in the past."
Karla also sought counseling during that first tumultuous year, and takes an anti-depressant. She places self-care at the top of her list, and makes time daily after her children are asleep to decompress and recharge. "I try to take things in stride," she says.
Colby is fully included in the Mother's Day Out program that his sister also attends. "He's not able to verbalize, and cannot always participate in every activity fully, but he is included in everything in some way." He's working on sitting, walking, head control, speech and eating solid foods. Karla is learning to advocate for her son by attending a course called Partners in Policymaking.
Karla doesn't feel that she's any more an inspiration than other mothers who love their children are. She says, "If I am an inspiration for loving my child unconditionally and being proud of him and encouraging him, then all mothers who love their children unconditionally should be looked upon as an inspiration. I am proud of Colby and who he is as a person just like I am proud of Madison and who she is."
"If I had to say one thing that I wanted people to know about my life with Colby it would be that he has touched my very soul, the core of my being. He is pure love." She goes on, "I have the greatest gift of all that some people may not recognize, and they do not recognize it because they have never had the opportunity to experience Colby. I used to feel sorry for families that have children with a disability, but I don't anymore. In fact, I think we are to be envied because we have found the secret of life in our children."
Written by Carolyn Murray
