Angel
Brandon John Miko was born on Thursday, December 7, 1995. His mother, Helen, gave birth to him at 8:45 in the morning, and by three in the afternoon he was already having seizures. Diagnosis: Lissencephaly. Prognosis: Very Poor. The Mikos were told that their new baby would probably not live through the weekend. Helen remembers:
"To say that we were devastated is putting it mildly. I had had three miscarriages before Brandon, so we thought we finally had the child we'd been waiting for. That weekend we told our family (who started coming right away to see him), had Brandon baptized and took rolls upon rolls of pictures of him since we thought they were the only ones we'd have."
"I just held him and loved him, and sang the songs to him that I used to sing to him when I was pregnant. Maybe that's why Silent Night was always one of his favorite songs. Since he was born in December I sang all sorts of Christmas songs to him."
"It was terrible to hear the phone ring when we were home. I was always afraid it was the hospital calling to tell me he had become an angel. I remember not being able to walk into his bedroom that we had fixed up and put the bassinet in--the same one I used as a baby. It just hurt too much to think he would never use any of the stuff that we had so lovingly bought for him. Little did I know that not only would he get lots of use out of his bedroom stuff, but he would outgrow the bassinet, and we would have to put the crib up for him as well!"
Brandon ignored the doctor's predictions and went home with Helen and her husband, Matt, when he was just four days old. He would live for another four years before returning to his heavenly home.
During Brandon's brief time on earth he accomplished a lot. He introduced his parents to many wonderful, loving people through the Home Hospice Program and the Lissencephaly Network. He was part of a major research project led by Dr. Dobyns of Chicago, the country's expert on Lissencephaly. He was held by a Congresswoman while being kissed and sung to by Peter Yarrow of Peter, Paul and Mary! He also managed to squeeze in the time to present an award to the Governor of Connecticut.
But if you ask his mother what Brandon taught her, she'd tell you this:
"I learned the true meaning of unconditional love from Brandon. I also learned to really enjoy each day for what it was, as we never knew what tomorrow would bring. I learned that despite the severity of his handicaps--he had no head control and couldn't even smile--he had a gentle, caring soul who touched anyone who took the time to get to know him. As a matter of fact, every Hospice nurse that ever took care of him came to his funeral. I knew that I was truly blessed to have an angel in my arms for four years, before God took him back to be an angel in Heaven."
Brandon's father, Matt, adored his son and took him everywhere with him. At the time of his litttle boy's death, he was trying to come up with a way to take him with him on his back when he went skiing! Matt is a Physician's Assistant and Helen is a Special Education teacher, so the pair were good at improvising and inventing ways to include their son in everything they did.
Brandon Miko was born on December 7, 1995 and became an angel on March 4, 2000. Three years ago this month. (Click for Helen's letter to Brandon) His mother still speaks of him often and thinks of him every day. She is part of the AngelBabyMoms support network, and is available to talk with other parents facing the challenges that her family faced during Brandon's life and death (email Helen). She has this to share:
"Brandon was a gentle soul who loved being held and cuddled. He loved being the center of attention, too. He loved camping, walks on the beach and Christmas trees. He hated snow and hospital cribs (he'd scream until you took him out of them. I can't blame him. They always reminded me of monkey cages.)"
"Even though he was very limited, he had a great relationship with his little sister, Katie. She would cuddle up to him, and they'd nap together during the day. If she took a toy out of the toy box, she would always get one for him, too."
"I now know that he will always be with me in my heart. It sounds strange, but I feel his presence with me always. The thing above all things is that he was the love of my life. And I will miss holding him until my dying day."
Written by Carolyn Murray
